Social Media

The inevitable has happened…My Mom added me as a friend on facebook!

When I was in middle school I gave a speech that started off with me putting my hands on my cheeks – like in Home Alone – and yelling: “Ahhh, My Mom’s Turning into a Health Nut!” My speech was based on the impact that my mom’s cancer recovery program (and new health habits) was having on our family.

Peggy Sue (My Mom) & Me

Now – some 15 years later – I’m in disbelief again, but for a completely different reason. I find myself acutely aware that my mom’s turning into a new media nut!

Over the past few months I’ve helped my mom set up her own blog site; learn how to use Twitter; showed her how to favourite YouTube videos; and now the inevitable has happened – she added me as a friend on facebook!

Now that I’ve been on facebook for a good while now I’ve noticed many of my friends’ parents who have a presence online. While I’m ‘friends’ with some of my friend’s parents on facebook, I secretly counted myself lucky in some ways that my parents weren’t interested in Facebook. It provided me with my own little online hangout. But it’s now official: I can no longer ‘escape’ my parents in the social media world.

Over the past year or two facebook has really gone from a ’20-something’ hangout to an ‘everybody’ hangout. In many ways Facebook has become an essential communications tool for both social life and business life. And now my mom, a boomer generation gal, is jumping on board like so many around the world.

Why did my mom get on facebook?

Probably the exact same reasons as everyone. She told me she felt she was not getting as many emails as before and that she felt disconnected. I think knowing that some of her family and friends were on facebook, and being more familiar with new media, the time was right for her to set up her own profile.

She says she’s still experimenting to see if Facebook is for her, but in about 3 weeks she has plenty of facebook friends, enjoys seeing up-to-date photos of family and friends, and she’s even started her own facebook group.

Mom & some of our Fam!

While I have a great relationship with my parents, we don’t talk about “everything” like some kids and their parents do. I’m okay with that. But I guess I still have a protective and secretive side of me that gets nervous that my mom might see a side of me (or my network) on facebook that she doesn’t know about.

When I posted on facebook that I’d be posting a new blog on my mom being on facebook, a friend on facebook jokingly said “clean it up!!”

But upon further reflection, that really isn’t the case and I don’t have much to worry about because I’m really quite conservative on facebook anyways.  Based on the responses I’ve received from some friends and family, they essentially see it that way too. But please comment below if you have a different experience or opinion!

Here’s a snippet of what a few facebook friends of mine had to said about having their parent(s) on facebook:

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“My mom is the person I talk to the most on Facebook lol! She and my sis are the two people I’m closest with in life, so being close with them on FB is no different. Maybe if I were 16 and doing “bad” things I’d feel a lil’ uneasy having my family checking up on me. Being an adult with co-workers and such able to read wall posts, look at pics, etc…family is the least of my worries, especially since in my case they are the ones doing the writing and in the pics with me ”

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“Both my parents are on Facebook. My dad doesn’t really spend much time on it, but my mom is completely the opposite (they’re separated). I find my mom uses FB as a major communication tool with me – but sometimes it can be smothering and very “mom” like (sometimes not a good thing with the amount of business networking I do online)

Yes, I feel that my mom ‘snoops’ on me, but frankly I don’t care, it actually makes my life easier, she can have access to me whenever she wants, she can get to know me better and keep herself updated on my life every day if she wants to. I think having access to me on FB makes her happy (she feels connected to me all at her control) and it helps us stay connected even if we don’t see eachother or talk on the phone due to our schedules. She can comment on my status update or look at my travel pictures I just posted. I think it makes her feel good that she knows what her daughter is up to in the big city. I don’t sensor myself around my parents, I try to be me all the time to everyone.”

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“As an intensely private person, the move to facebook was a slow one. It’s been an amazing way to connect with friends and family – some of whom I’ve not spoken to since childhood. Having my mom aboard, and hopefully one day my dad, just makes it better.

I’m not a phone person, so having my mom on facebook allows me to pop in and see what she’s up to throughout the day.

..I’ve always been close to my parents so they already know what’s going on in my life. With facebook, they can put faces to some of the names I mention in conversation.

 I do have things in my life that are just for me, but those things aren’t going on facebook – parents or not.”

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Most of us these days, including myself, are new media nuts. It’s interesting to be a part of this cultural revolution in communications and technology and we’re really in the early stages. We are at the front line of this new media wave and I hope we can all strike a more healthy balance in the near future, and get better at knowing how to best use new media and not be consumed by it. I hope to post more blogs related to social media in the future, and I invite you to join the dialogue.

What do you think about having your parent(s) on facebook? Please post your comments here. Feel free to post anonymously.